No Turning From This
by AerynSpeedleCaine
Summary: Just a brief angsty song fic about Remus and Hermione's affair. It's mainly an AU; and it's main theme has adultery in it, but there is no "Happily Ever After"...


**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it don't belong to me... (HP belongs 2 J.K.R. and the song "The Hardest Thing" belongs to 98 Degrees and all their people!) I'm just borrowing it! Please don't sue me!!**

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**Author's Note: So this is an angsty song-fic pairing of Remus-Hermione. And yes, it has a theme of adultery. And NO I don't condone it in Real Life; but for the purpose of this ficlet, I went there...**

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**NoTurning From This:**

**Remus' POV:**

I came here tonight with a very specific purpose. And though it breaks my heart to do it; it has to be done. I just cannot continue to live this lie anymore.

So tonight, rather than taking refuge and comfort in the arms of the one woman I love more than anything in this world, I am going to break her heart into a million pieces instead.

Tonight I'm going to end my secret relationship with Hermione.

**We both know that I shouldn't be here**

**This is wrong**

**And baby its killing me, it's killing you**

**Both of us trying to be strong**

**I've got somewhere else to be**

**Promises to keep**

**Someone else who loves me**

**And trusts me fast asleep**

I made a vow to love and honor Dora (Tonks) when I married her. And for better or worse, I will stand by her. I have to. She told me that she's pregnant with my child; it would be so wrong to desert her now.

**I've made up my mind**

**There is no turning back**

**She's been good to me**

**And she deserves better than that**

Honest to Merlin, I never meant for this to happen. I didn't intend to be unfaithful to Dora.

Hermione was the one who made the Wolfsbane potion for me when Snape supposedly betrayed us. And, she made it possible for Harry, Ron, and her to become illegal animagi in order to keep me company during the full moon; like James and Sirius did.

Merlin knows, she was the one that I had the most in common with. Then we were partnered up for missions for The Order. So, is it any surprise that somewhere along the way, we ended up falling in love?

**It's the hardest thing**

**I'll ever have to do**

**To look you in the eye **

**And tell you I don't love you**

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to lie**

**To show no emotion **

**When you start to cry**

**I can't let you see**

**What you mean to me**

**When my hands are tied**

**And my heart's not free**

**We're not meant to be**

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to do**

**To turn around and walk away**

**Pretending I don't love you**

I sit on the sofa in her flat, looking her in the eye, as I tell her the biggest bald-faced lie I've ever told.

A large portion of my soul is dying, as I watch the fire in her eyes fade, and the tears she doesn't realize she's crying fall unchecked from those beautiful honey colored orbs.

I want so badly to gather her in my arms, and tell her the truth. She means everything to me, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I just can't!

Why is Fate so damned cruel?!

**I know that we'll meet again**

**Fate has a place and time**

**So you can get on with your life**

**I've got to be cruel to be kind**

**Like Dr. Zhivago**

**All my love I'll be sending**

**And you will never know**

**There can be no happy ending**

So, I'm going to shatter any hope she might have of a future for us; letting her move on with her life. I know she doesn't see it now, but it really is for the best.

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to do**

**To look you in the eye **

**And tell you I don't love you**

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to lie**

**To show no emotion**

**When you start to cry**

**I can't let you see **

**What you mean to me**

**When my hands are tied**

**And my heart's not free**

**We're not meant to be**

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to do**

**To turn around and walk away**

**Pretending I don't love you**

I love her enough to pray that she finds the one man who can give her all the happiness and love she so deserves. I wish to God that I could be the One, but I know it isn't meant to be for us…

**Maybe another time, another day**

**As much as I want to, I can't stay**

**(Ooh)**

**I've made up my mind**

**There is no turning back**

**She's been good to me**

**And she deserves better than that**

But, Dora is a good woman. And she loves me too (even though she would be heartbroken if she knew I've been cheating on her with Hermione) in spite of my lycanthropic condition when not many would.

And don't get me wrong, I deeply care for- if not love- Dora; but it's not Dora's fault that what I feel for her is so different than what I feel for Hermione.

Hermione is the woman who sets my soul on fire with passion and desire.

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to do**

**To look you in the eye**

**And tell you I don't love you**

**It's the hardest thing **

**I'll ever have to lie**

**To show no emotion**

**When you start to cry**

**I can't let you see**

**What you mean to me**

**When my hands are tied**

**And my heart's not free**

**We're not meant to be**

**It's the hardest thing**

**I'll ever have to do**

**To turn around and walk away**

**Pretending that I don't love you**

As I get up, and walk out of Hermione's life. I ignore the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking sobs. I'll ignore the tremendous amount of pain I'm causing her at this moment. I'll steel myself against the urge to turn around and beg forgiveness for ripping her heart out of her chest, seeming to stomp it into a quivering, bloody mess.

I'm resolved to do the right thing, even if my heart is breaking right alongside Hermione's. Even if my soul is wailing in agony.

**I don't want to live a lie**

**What can I do?**


End file.
